


Not let him break.

by beneathmyfeet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, M/M, My Bloody Valentine - Freeform, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beneathmyfeet/pseuds/beneathmyfeet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort of set during this scene from "My Bloody Valentine" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWqYzShjn1k</p><p>Dean is breaking. Cas wants to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not let him break.

Castiel was leaning one shoulder against the wall, hands in the pocket of his tan trenchcoat. In front of him was Dean. He looked empty and broken resting against a thick, bulky pillar with his gaze fixed on nothing at all. More than anything right now, Cas wished that he could make the noises stop. The bangs & crashes, screams of agony and pleads for help, all coming from behind the heavy iron door. He saw what it all did to Dean. How it hurt him. He felt utterly powerless. For a moment he was angry at Sam for causing Dean all that pain. For a moment he thought about getting in there and doing whatever was necessary to silence him. But that was only for a moment.

Dean raised the bottle he was holding in his hand and took a sip out of it. One of many. The regularly well-composed, strong, witty hunter Dean usually was seemed far away as he slowly shut his eyes.

Castiel was afraid that the man in front of him would break. Shatter into a million pieces like a dropped wineglass or crumble into black flakes of ash. "That's not him in there." Cas tried. "Not really" The cries from inside the panicroom grew louder and louder. "I know" Dean said, swallowing hard and opening his eyes.

The relationship between the Winchester brothers was the most extrodinary thing Castiel had come across when on earth. It fascinated him so. They had gone through so much together. Good and bad. They cared for eachother, fought and cried for eachother. They shared many differences. In fact, they seemed to always disagree on one thing or another.

An angel's life is long, very long, and the time he'd spent on earth with these people was nothing but a fraction of a fraction of the whole of Cas' life. But when thinking back, his past self didn't feel like him at all. That's how much these people, these human beings, with their faults, their pain, their dirt and anger, that's how much they'd changed him.

He's learned, and knows with absolute certainty, that these brothers would go to any lenghts to save oneanother. He imagined how Dean must feel right now, knowing that nothing he can do will relieve his brother of this pain. That the only thing to do is wait. He must feel useless. He was supposed to protect him. He's here to save him, to make things better, he's stronger, he's supposed to be able to make the pain go away. Not let him break.

Castiel made a quick decision and took the few steps necessary to face the other man. He hesitantly took Dean's right hand in his own and tilted his head slightly. Dean didn't move an inch, he was still looking at nothing. Had it worked? Was he still breaking? Dean let out a whimper almost like a laugh, as if he'd heard what Cas was thinking, and dropped his head to rub his eyes with his other hand. Dean looked at the firm hand holding his own, squeezed it a bit and swallowed hard, almost smiling. It had worked. When he lifted his head he was looking at Cas.

Standing there, in Bobby's basement, holding Dean Winchester's hand, Cas felt more than he'd ever done before. Dean's green eyes were mezmerising, but still, Castiel couldn't help but shift his gaze downwards, just a tiny bit and only for a few seconds. There was something he wanted to do.

Since after they had acquired Famine's ring Cas did most cerainly not feel any sort of craving for red meat, but there was another sort of hunger. Cas thought about what Dean usually said about personal space. But it did seem that the slight physical contact gained by holding hands did make Dean feel better. He leaned in close, their faces not three inches apart, and pressed his empty hand agaist Dean's left cheek.

Eyes closed, Cas pressed their lips toghether. It was warm, it was soft, and Cas' heart was racing like never before. After a while, he pulled away slightly and lowered his hand from Dean's cheek. Dean stood frozen, a puzzled expression on his face and eyes wide open. There was much emotion in those eyes at that moment; surprise, apprehension, curiosity. But there was no trace of sadness. Their faces were still mere inches apart and their, now slighly sweaty, hands were still clinging on to eachother. Cas thought about leaving it at that, he thought about dissapearing right there and never talk of this again. Dean hadn't responded the way he'd hoped. But he still hadn't let go of his hand either. Did Dean want to be kissed again? In the end it was that hunger inside of Cas that made the decision. He let go of Dean's hand and put both of his own on the other man's shoulders, going in with more determination this time. He took Dean's lower lip between his own and ducked on it. His hands travelled upwards, along Dean's neck and eventually settled on cupping the other man's jaw.

After what felt like a tiny eternity, Dean grabbed Cas' trenchcoat with his right hand and closed his eyes, melting into the kiss. Cas' knees almost gave way as a wave of relief (and something else) flooded through his body.

It seemed that when Dean decided to give in, he did so wholeheartedly because he hadn't even noticed that the pair of them had moved. They were no longer in that horrible basement, but up against the wall of a motel room much like the ones Sam and Dean usually stayed in. One of Dean's hands was on the back of Cas' head, fingers tangled in his hair. He moved the other from Cas' front to the small of his back and used it to press him closer. Cas rested his forehead against Dean's, the need for air forcing him to separate their lips for just a few seconds. None of them had opened their eyes.

Should they stop? Probably. But they wouldn't.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't really know how to end it so the ending is really weird and sudden and bad sorry.


End file.
